Monday, April 4, 2011

Resurrection, or Calm Things Returns

I'm constantly seeking calm.  I can't say that I constantly find it.  I sometimes think that when I say "calm" this is just code for freaking out inside.  Finding calm definitely has to do with the ability to compartmentalize.  Certainly the more I freak out (admittedly I'm usually freaking out about money, as I imagine a lot of people are these days, particularly artists and writers and those with intermittent and precarious incomes at the best of times) the more I seek out what is calm.

I've been on Flickr for a little more than a year now.  It's become a part of my practice.  My practice as a writer, as an apprentice to delight (to quote the title of a C. Lispector book).  I think taking photos has been a bit of a sanity saver for me, because it's something I can do in a pretty limited window.  I don't need the quiet and the span of time that I seem to need to get into my writing.  And the Flickr community, at least the one I'm viewing, is honestly lovely.  At first, I was a bit disconcerted by the litany of comments, 'good capture, nice pov, great dof, lovely!'  But then I realized, that the comments are a way of saying, 'I saw this.'  It's more than that, of course.  After a year of looking at many of the same contacts' photos, you start to realize what a privilege it is too - all these glimpses into a person's life.

Also, by constantly looking at pictures, one begins to see differently.  It's a stance - a conscious decision to be looking for something beautiful or calm or lovely, or to see how light changes things, or to be changed by the light.

When I have time, I like to add a line of poetry that goes with my a photograph I've taken.  This has really renewed an interest in pursuing the ways in which images and texts interact and act upon one another.  So.  Thus the resurrection of this blog.  I'd like to say that I'll be posting every couple of days, but I know that's pretty unrealistic.  In truth, I'm pretty exhausted and worn down by life lately.  What I do hope to do is to talk myself into a calm state of mind from time to time, and would be happy for company as I do.

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