Saturday, December 10, 2011

No Layoff

“In every crowd are certain persons who seem just like the rest, yet they bear amazing messages.” 

~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery {Night Flight}

How quickly this Saturday morning has arrived!  And how quickly Christmas will soon be arriving.  And then the new can see how simply my mind works.  Well, I have been thinking about fragility this morning - which seems a natural leap when looking at these photos I took yesterday of ornaments.  Our tree is full of birds, which happened accidentally really.  One year we looked at our ornaments and realized that two thirds of them were birds.  After that, the birds accumulated.  At any rate, Christmas is a potentially fragile time of year and maybe in particular for introverts. It's good to remember that our fragility may be like the load-bearing marble halls Neil Gaiman talks about here:

“It occurs to me that the peculiarity of most things we think of as fragile is how tough they truly are. There were tricks we did with eggs, as children, to show how they were, in reality, tiny load-bearing marble halls; while the beat of the wings of a butterfly in the right place, we are told, can create a hurricane across an ocean. Hearts may break, but hearts are the toughest of muscles, able to pump for a lifetime, seventy times a minute, and scarcely falter along the way. Even dreams, the most delicate and intangible of things, can prove remarkably difficult to kill.” 

~ Neil Gaiman

I have been making resolutions ahead of the new year's rush.  To stay more true to my own fragility.  To be less distracted and more present.  And to say no far more frequently.   To clear every possible space and use it for my writing.  And to write madly and furiously and with abandon, in spite of the fact that manuscripts languish, unpublished, unaccepted. And I'm also going to resolve to ask huge and beautiful questions, to express what I need to express, and to share, as Cixous says, to release words, "like the release of a bird or a breath."  To let words take flight. To write towards secrets and dreams.  To get back to the condensery, and to the flood and flow, and to stay there, undistracted. There will be no layoff.

   advised me:
         Learn a trade

I learned
   to sit at desk
         and condense

No layoff
   from this

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