Tuesday, July 16, 2013

awash with angels

from Richard Wilbur's "Love Calls Us To The Things of the World"

                    Outside the open window
The morning air is all awash with angels.

Some are in bed-sheets, some are in blouses,
Some are in smocks: but truly there they are.
Now they are rising together in calm swells
Of halcyon feeling, filling whatever they wear
With the deep joy of their impersonal breathing;

After the rain yesterday at the dinner hour: the gift of light, of fabulous bokeh. 

This might be the last post I whinge about my health, the effects of Bell's Palsy. My face is nearly clear now, not quite, but nearly. It's been 20 days of feeling not quite myself. Last night taking these photos, my eyes were hurting. I've been putting warm compresses on them, and putting natural tears in them regularly. So I snapped these as quickly as I could and that was that. As for the other effects of all this: I'm still aching and tired, really very and at times sublimely tired. Related to BP? I don't know. When something like this happens, you can't help but saying to yourself, you must change your life. And I think I really must, but am at present too tired to know exactly the ways in which it will. In truth, it's at the core about money - making art always is. When my head felt like it was popping off 20 days ago because my computer crashed - it wasn't the lost files I was so worried about. (I had mostly everything important backed up). It was the money needed to replace the computer. And then all the other worries related to money flooded in. (Usually I'm half good at being in denial). I know we live relatively very richly, we do. But maybe there are ways to do things better. And maybe the answer isn't to go on working just part-time, writing obscure books. (I don't think I have much else in me but obscure books is the thing....). Well. 

In the meantime, my small garden awash with angels, with light. More light, please.


  1. Oh, so lovely. And that's one of my favourite poems. I don't have it at hand but doesn't it conclude, "...keeping their difficult balance."? Good to remember.

    1. Yes! Thanks Theresa. There's a link embedded in the post - title of the poem, too, if you want to read the whole thing. Good memory, you!

  2. Shawna--absolutely, as Michael says, She must begin writing full-time...there's nothing obscure about the gorgeous thoughts you share with us...

  3. Your honest and courage does it hurt? I can't imagine you living any other way. I read you posts and my world expands. Your dahlias are breath taking.

  4. Dear Shawna. Your blog is my favourite, and I love what and how you create. All I really wanted to say was, to encourage you to never stop writing and photographing, or giving up on any of your creative time and self. I am merely a bud in the cultivation stage of my own creativity and how I value what you create, you inspire me so! I believe in the art of creative living and that in that place you will make the money you need. It is really good to hear that your health is improving. Go well, and thank you, Jacqueline xx

  5. Thank you all for the encouragement.....I'll of course continue to find ways to maintain, as Theresa has said, a difficult balance.


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