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Tuesday, November 5, 2013

inquiry before snow




silence

 .is
a
looking

bird:the

turn
ing;edge,of
life

(inquiry before snow



{e.e. cummings}







"the snow doesn't give a soft white
damn Whom it touches"

e.e. cummings



As with everything, there's still much to be said about snow. Much to be said about silence. About winter. About nothing. And about the space in which a writer needs to work.



"It takes a lot of time to be a genius, you have to sit around so much doing nothing, really doing nothing."


- Gertrude Stein







Here's what I tell myself these days. That I am perfectly suited to winter, the genius of that season. Winter is one's best hope of doing nothing. Or maybe it's that it's easier to feign doing something in winter, easier to hide.

There are many difficult aspects of being a writer. Finding a publisher for your work - that process - monumentally difficult. Finding readers for your work - definitely tricky. Editing - can be gruelling. Work - the day job - and balancing that with the rest of your life, can be exhausting, sometimes heartbreaking. But finding and carving out the space where you can think, be creative, let the mind wander, or to stare blankly out the window - this becomes next to impossible at times. I sometimes think any success I've happened to have as a writer is because I have made it a lifelong goal - to find that quiet space, that silence. Everything I do at times seems to support this goal. I make small steps toward that space constantly. I have my eye on it at all times. At the beginning of a week, I look at my calendar, spot the empty hours, and then do everything I can to keep them clear. And then there's the mental space one needs also. I try to make sure my inbox is mainly empty when I do have the days clear. I turn off Facebook. I make sure the floor has been cleaned beforehand. I say no to coffee dates, dinner dates. I say no. I plot and scheme. I leave things. I lie.















1 comment:

  1. You work hard toward your goal; don't feel bad about that. It's impressive. We, the ones who get to experience the fruits of your labour, are behind you in your endeavour, Shawna. Trust that.

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