From Selected Crônicas by Clarice Lispector:
"I am an extremely busy person. I keep an eye on the world."
"Is it hard work keeping an eye on the world? Most certainly. I can remember the terrifying face of one woman I saw in the street, a face devoid of expression. I also keep an eye on thousands of slum-dwellers on the nearby slopes. I observe the seasonal changes in myself: I inevitably change with every season."
"You must be wondering why I keep an eye on the world. I was born with this mission. And I am responsible for everything in existence, even for those wars and crimes which cause so much physical and spiritual havoc."
"Keeping an eye on the world requires a lot of patience: I must wait for the ants to reappear. Patience. While watching the flowers open imperceptibly, little by little."
"But I still have not found the person to whom I should report my findings."
I needed Lispector's Cronicas yesterday.
I needed to come at the possibilities from a different angle. How to write, what can be written, by me, now.
I sometimes feel as though this blog is a way of reporting my findings, some of them.
Have been thinking about all the ways in which we're responsible to each other, should be, and all the reasons we have difficulty fulfilling those obligations. Why we often fail. Or why we're just not able to proceed.
I do keep coming back to these thoughts by C. L. - you can read a couple of older posts.
Sometimes, the best we can do is to just keep an eye on the world, even when we have no one to whom we can report our findings.
The light on the kitchen table, on a bowl of oranges, on a book. On the dog as he waits for me to let him outside.
These are my findings. Such as they are.